Day 3

It’s been three days since my surgery, and I’m feeling kind of depressed and alone. The restrictions and uncertainty have me feeling anxious and uneasy, like I’m a burden to my wife and my job.

I’m doing relatively well considering they sliced into my eardrum, cut out a bone, replaced it with a prosthetic, took a chunk of flesh out of the back of my ear to cord the hole I have minimal pain and minor dizziness and disorientation. I just hate that I can’t lift anything, can’t bend over, can’t get it wet, which means waxy ear plugs and pink polka-dotted shower caps for a while.

I haven’t slept well or much at all due to the fact that I’m typically a side sleeper, but for the next several weeks, I’m restricted to only sleeping propped up and on my back, and when I do start drifting off, my chubby soft pallet collapses causing me to stop breathing, choke and wake up gasping for air, over and over and over again.

Since my ear is packed from both sides, I won’t know the true result of the surgery for several weeks to months since the temporary packing behind my eardrum has to dissolve first. I go in a week from today to have the packing in my ear canal removed, so hopefully, that will give me a glimpse of what’s to come and some relief.

Right now, my head feels stuffed and plugged like I was taken to a build-a-bear workshop instead of the hospital. Things alternate between extremely loud in my skull to super muffled and hard to understand. My good ear is starting to sound questionable whether it was truly as good as I remembered.

Worst of all, I feel alone, even though I know I’m not. My wife is always here for me. I just feel worthless and reliant, and it sucks! Now I’m feeling extremely irritated with my phone’s auto correct as it just changed the work “sucks” to “socks” 17 times, and I came super close to spiking it into the god damn floor!

Okay, maybe it’s time for a nap. Hahaha! Right, like I’ll actually sleep…